“Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson
Whenever I experienced blockages or tough situations in my life I found myself being dishonest or insincere (to myself or the others). And for this reason, admitting the truth and allowing it to be and to be known has been one of my most important teachers. You’re probably thinking: ”Well, the girl is a liar. Poor her. Happily, I’m not.” But what I’m talking about is not actually lying. It’s something more subtle, like telling someone that she’s beautiful just to get her acceptance, and not honestly thinking about what the person feels. You know what I mean?
Being honest to yourself
Admitting to yourself that you’re vulnerable, is not an easy task. But when you do that you release all frustrations, fear and guilt.
When you start being honest to yourself it’s like turning on the lights in a pitch black house that you inhabited your whole life. And room by room, the building gets enlightened. And you start to see: things you didn’t expect existed stand still, quiet in front of you. And they have stood there still, quiet during all these years. But nobody saw them.
You may not like what you find: piles of junk attitudes, hanging fears and well-shaped masks. But hey, they’re yours.
Years ago, when I first stepped on this path, I found myself living like a total impostor. I was hiding behind a mask that had nothing to do with who I was: I was reading trendy literature and watching art movies that my poor soul never asked for! I was doing my hair so Marilyn blond that I forgot what my real color was. I was hiding under so much make-up that when somebody saw me without it I would feel ashamed of my own face! To name just a few…
Being honest to the others
Admitting to the others that you don’t know who Seneca was is not an easy task eighter, especially if you pride yourself with your vast knowledge. But when you do that you release all fear, insecurity and arrogance.
Admitting you’re not the obeying citizen or moral peak is not a bad choice. Not hiding you have different emotional or sexual needs than most people do is better that living terrified with being discovered. Shame is a heavy burden. And pride is its mother.
Honesty in relationships
Sometimes, our relations with other people put us in the mirror with ourselves. They take out some of our deepest issues. Naturally, it’s part of progression. Relationships have the gift to help us better understand who we are and what we want. And honesty is the basis of such bonds.
Here is a short story about a non-honest relation:
When they first met, B helped A to overcome some difficult situations. A was grateful. That’s why A helped B back. But B spotted some of A’s vulnerabilities. B insisted on A’s difficulties and promised “unconditional” support just to keep A around. Half naïve, A believed B, although smelled B’s interests. After some time, A woke up and half-ended the relation with B. But B kept on ringing. The time passed and A never had the strength to be honest and clear this relationship. Until one day, when A called B and stuffed some pretty justifications on the phone, hoping that B will get the picture (what A had in mind) and never call back. B did not buy it. The relationship was left hanging on doubts…B is still not aware of his unhealthy behaviour with others and A is still prone to getting involved in this type of interactions.
“The truth will set you free. “ John 8:32